From "The Wedding Ring" by William Secker, 1658

Excerpted from "The Salve of Divinity—on the Sore of Humanity"

The woman must be a helper to the man in these four things:

To his Piety,
To his Society,
To his Progeny,
To his Prosperity.

To her husband's piety, by the ferventness of her sanctification.
To his society, by the fragrantness of her conversation.
To his progeny, by the fruitfulness of her education.
To his prosperity, by the faithfulness of her preservation.

1. A wife should be a helper to her husband's PIETY, by the ferventness of her sanctification. "Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight." 1 Peter 3:3-4

Husband and wife should be as the two milk cows—which were coupled together to carry the ark of God. Or as the two Cherubim, which looked upon one another, and both upon the mercy-seat. Or as the two tables of stone, on each of which were engraved the laws of God. In some families married people are like Jeremiah's two baskets of figs—the one very good, the other very evil. Or like fire and water—while the one is flaming in devotion, the other is freezing in corruption. There is a two-fold hindrance in holiness:

First, on the right side. When the wife would run in God's way—the husband will not let her go. When the fore horse in a team will not draw properly—he wrongs all the rest. When the general of an army forbids a march—all the soldiers stand still.

Secondly, on the left side. How did Solomon's idolatrous wives draw away his heart from Heaven! A sinning wife wasSatan's first ladder, by which he scaled the walls of Paradise, and took away the fort royal of Adam's heart from him. Thus she who should have been the help of his flesh—was the hurt of his faith. She who should be a crown on thehead—is a cross on the shoulders. The wife is often to the husband, as the ivy is to the oak—which draws away his vital sap from him.

2. A wife should be a helper to her husband's SOCIETY, by the fragrantness of her conversation. Man is an affectionate creature. Now the woman's behavior should be such towards the man, as to require his affection, by increasing his delectation; that the new-born love may not be blasted—as soon as it is blossomed; that it may not beruined—before it be rooted. A spouse should carry herself so to her husband, as not to disturb his love by hercontention, nor to destroy his love by her alienation. Husband and wife should be like two candles burning together, which make the house more lightsome; or like two fragrant flowers bound up in one bouquet, which augments its redolence; or like two well-tuned instruments, which sounding together, make the more melodious music. Husband and wife—what are they but as two springs meeting, and so joining their streams that they may make but one current? It is an unpleasing spectacle to view any contention, in this conjunction.

3. A wife should be a helper to her husband's PROGENY, by the fruitfulness of her education; so that her children in the flesh may be God's children in the spirit. "Train a child in the way he should go—and when he is old he will not turn from it." Proverbs 22:6. Hannah vows, that if the Lord will give her a son, by bearing him—she will return that son to the Lord by serving him. A mother should be more careful of her children's pious breeding, than she should be fearful of her children's worldly bearing. Take heed lest these flowers grow in the devil's garden! Though you bring them out in corruption—yet do not bring them down to damnation! Those are not mothers—but monsters—who while they should be teaching their children the way to heaven with their lips—are leading them to hell with their lives! Godly training is the best livery you can give them living; and it is the best legacy you can leave them dying.

You let out your efforts to make them great; lift up your prayers to make them godly—that before you die from them, you may see Christ live in them. While these twigs are green and tender, they should be bowed towards God. Children are in a family—as passengers are in a boat; husband and wife, they are as a pair of oars to row them to their desired haven. Let these small pieces of timber be hewed and squared for the celestial building. By putting a scepter of graceinto their hands—you will set a crown of glory upon their heads!

4. A wife should be a helper to her husband's PROSPERITY, by her faithful preservation, being not a wandererabroad—but a worker at home. "To be self-controlled and pure, to be workers at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God." Titus 2:5.

One of the ancients speaks excellently: "She must not be a field-wife, like Dinah; nor a street-wife, like Tamar; nor awindow-wife, like Jezebel."

Phidias, when he drew a woman, painted her as sitting under a snail shell, that she might imitate that little creature—which goes no further than it can carry its house upon its head.

How many women are there, who are not laboring bees—but idle drones! They take up a room in the hive—but bring no honey to it! They are moths to their husband's estates, spending when they should be sparing! As the man's part is to provide industriously, so the woman's part is to preserve discreetly! The husband must not be carelessly wanting; the wife must not be causelessly waiting. The man must be seeking with diligence—and the woman must be savingwith providence. The rooster and hen both scrape together in the dust-heap, to pick up something for their little chicks. "She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness." Proverbs 31:27